Monday, 31 October 2011
It's a fascinating time to be alive in the world at the moment. The politics, the weather, the geology; its all shaping for a most awesome Apocalypse next year.
Not even Nostradamus in his wildest dreams could imaging a world like we're living in now. Maybe through some obscure quatrain could he predict a future of so much and yet so little. The suffering and the ecstasy they all all contribute to a human condition that will be recorded forever and yet like all history miss-told and again repeated.
I find my refuge in reading, it's like watching a painter putting the finishing touches on a canvas, the finer details explained and left to the observers interpretation. It compartmentalises my thoughts, helps me expel my misconceptions and biases. Reading also gives me the ability to see other worlds, other realms where people exist and offer their realities to me. This is a gift from God, not in a dust old biblical sense, but it allows me to more enlightened while leaving my baggage at the door of at the proverbial cover of the book, which up until that stage I have judged the contents.
I am not a sponge soaking up my environment regardless of the emotion. I am a still, filtering the contents.
Another Martini anyone?
Posted by Stephen Buck at 10:53 am
Tuesday, 30 August 2011
It's a warm in day Auckland, at least 16 deg. I've just got back from checking the letterbox after washing millions of spiders webs off my car and I can safely say it's almost tropical.
I like the transition of the seasons. Spring is great. It reminds me of my youth. Hanging out at Oriental Bay, watching the world go by. Listening to music as loud as my ears could handle from my Walkman. It's a reminder of the past and a promise of the future. Something that wasn't that assured as teenager. I do long for those days though, life was much simpler. My responsibility was limited to myself and even then that was more of an obsession than any duty of care. The air smelled sweeter, music felt like it lived in my bones and friends were always at arms length.
Now I rinse cobwebs off my car after checking my own letterbox for bills and other unreasonable demands. Life is more cluttered, friends are more fickle; worried too about externalities that demand more immediate attention.
I'm conscious too that life is passing me by, what I want and need are now gulfs apart. I want security, freedom from my fears. Belonging is no longer as important as position. My life moves at the speed of sound and I'm glimpsing back at what it was. Depressing.
Self help and pop-psychology manuals tell me to make a plan. Create a routine and life will fall into place, is that any different from being young again?
Posted by Stephen Buck at 10:11 am
Wednesday, 3 August 2011
Thursday, 14 July 2011
It's wet and cold in Auckland today. Not freezing, but the heater is on low to keep the nip out of the air.
My leg is still weak and slowly I feel my body being dragged down by the pain. I just want to walk again. Even to the letter box, where there will be a bill for warming my house. No, it's no a woe is me situation, more a cry of frustration that becomes louder each day. How I long to be normal again.
Tomorrow will be a better day.
Zimbo and zimbo and zimbo and zimbo and zimbo and zimbo and zimbo.
Saturday, 9 July 2011
No one likes pain except for a few emo's and religious nutters.
How we deal with pain defines us. It's said that some of the poorest people in the world are also the happiest, or at least smiliest. This maybe true because a lot of what we have in our western world disconnects us from what is real.
Pain therefore is more than just an inconvenience it reduces our consciousness to a feeling of being below our expectations. It makes us weak and to be weak is to lose.
Maybe I've been lying around with my feet up for too long. It's got me thinking though, there are worse things in life than pain.
Take my advice watch out for slippery rocks (and people).
More blogging soon.